FollowA Letter to the Children (Part 11)
© 2025 C. O. Bishop
1st John 4:7-13
How to Understand the Agapé Love
Introduction:
It is interesting to note that “Agapé” is the only word John uses for “Love,” in his three epistles. The only place the Greek word “phileo” even occurs in his epistles, is as part of another word, in 3rd John 9. Where Diotrephes “loveth to have the preeminence,” the Greek word is “philotropeuon.” (Not a good love!)
One other “key” place where John uses the word “phileo” is John 21:15-17. John quoted a conversation: “phileo” happened a total of four times: Jesus had asked Peter, “do you love (agapé) Me?” and Peter replied using “phileo,” saying “Yes, You know I love (have deep affection for) You!”
This exchange happened twice. But the third time, Jesus also used the word “phileo.” It grieved Peter, because this time Jesus asked, “Do you phileo Me?” But he again replied using “phileo!” (Peter may have felt he could not claim “full commitment” to Christ, as just six weeks earlier, he had denied that he even knew Him!) Therefore, he claimed nothing greater than affection.
John used the word “phileo” eight times, in the Gospel of John. He also used it twice in Revelation (3:19 and 22:15.) Total of 15 times, always regarding the idea of “affection.”
Those are the only times in ALL of John’s writings where he used the word “phileo.” But he used the word “agapé” a total of 73 times!
John committed himself to the principle of Agapé!
The Principle of Agapé Love
7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
John says “beloved (to all believers) let us love one another, for… (because) Love is of God…”
I have long felt that “probably” the true agapé love was only possible by the Holy Spirit. This verse seems to confirm the notion. I will no longer say “probably!” Here’s why:
- (Agapé) Love is of God (as opposed to any other source!)
- Every one who loves (with agapé love) is born of God.
- (You must be born again, or it can’t happen!)
- AND (using “ginosko,” the experiential, practical, ongoing personal relationship word) knoweth God! It means you not only must be born again, but you have to be in fellowship with God at that moment, so that the Holy Spirit is in control! It does not mean simply that “you are acquainted with Him!”
You see, John gave us three facts: (a) God is the only source of agapé love. (b) Therefore, only a born-of-God believer can experience it, and (c) It can only be experienced by one who is currently under the control of the Holy Spirit!
On the basis of those three facts, John says, “Let’s put it into practice!”
Love and Fellowship
8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
If we bear in mind that the word for “know,” here, is “ginosko” (meaning an experiential, ongoing, “present-tense relationship” knowledge) and that the only word for Love, in this epistle is “agapé,” then we can see that John states unequivocally that if you are not exhibiting the agapé love, then you are out of fellowship! (And why?) Because “God is Love!”
People routinely quote this passage as if it were some sort of “Re-definition of God.” But, while God exemplifies the Agapé Love in every way, this passage does not say “God equals Love.” Therefore it also cannot be inverted to claim that “Love equals God.”
Thus, it also does not say “God is the Author of anything and everything that anyone might call Love!” So, the people today, claiming, “Love is Love!” are dead wrong. This verse is specifically about the Agapé Love…nothing else!
Attributes of God
Some people also want to use this passage to claim that “God’s primary attribute is Love.” This is also not true: His primary attribute (stated over and over, in both the Old and the New Testaments,) is Holiness!
In Isaiah 6:1-8, the Seraphim, surrounding the high throne of Christ, did not remark about the Love of God: They cried out, “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the LORD of Hosts! The whole earth is filled with His Glory!” And Isaiah, in response, did not say, “Wow! I’m surely glad to know He loves me!”
No! He said “Woe is me, for I am undone, for I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips, for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of Hosts!”
Isaiah thought he was about to die, because he, as a sinner, had seen the King! He saw the Holiness of God, and his own unholiness! He feared the inevitable, terrible Judgment of God! (That is a good fear! God says so, in Psalm 19:9!)
But Isaiah went on to learn the Love of God.
The Love of God
9 In this was manifested [made known] the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
This matches perfectly the Love described in John 3:16. “For God ‘so’ loved …” Meaning, “In this manner God loved: God demonstrated His agapé Love in this way. In the Spanish Bible, it is very clear: “Porque de tal manera amo Dios al Mundo…” In this manner, God loved the World….
What IS Agapé Love?
The Love of God has nothing to do with emotions or feelings: It has to do with a commitment to the well-being of the recipient of that Love.
We have discussed all of this, before, but, when we look at 1st Corinthians 13:4-8, where God gives the most comprehensive description of the Agapé Love, we find that every single descriptor is an action word: Nothing is dependent upon emotions or feelings. All of it has to do with how we respond to the needs of those around us.
God demonstrated that agapé love by going to the Cross for us. Jesus, as God in the Flesh, willingly presented Himself as the only acceptable sacrifice for the sins of the whole human race.
What Changed?
Hebrews 10:5-10 explains the transition between the Old Testament sacrifices (all of which pointed toward the Cross) and the Cross itself:
“5 Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering [The Old Testament offerings] thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me: 6 In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure. 7 Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God.
8 Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst pleasure therein; which are offered by the law; 9 Then said he, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that he may establish the second. 10 By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.”
Notice that Jesus came, knowing why He came! (“A body thou hast prepared for me! I come to do thy will. In the volume of the book, it is written of me!)
Despite God the Father confirming that Jesus, God the Son, was the Creator (see Hebrews 1:6-13, especially verses 8-10) Jesus (God the Son) came in obedience to God the Father, to be the sacrifice for our sins!
The Ultimate Source
In Jeremiah 2:12-13, God calls upon the whole creation to see the two evils that His people, the Jews, had committed:
- They had forsaken their God, the only source of Living Water (compare John 7:37-39.)
- They had made for themselves “cisterns” (holding standing water at best… rains, whenever they came, would fill the cisterns.) But, the Cisterns were cracked anyway, and could not even hold water…the stale water they thought they would use rather than depend upon an ongoing love-relationship with their Creator to provide the fresh, living water they truly needed.
The Only Source
He, (Jesus specifically) is the only source of Living Water: He is also the only source of the Agapé love! When we try to manufacture a pious-looking “love,” via programs, or 12-step plans, or any other human “gimmickry,” we are missing the point.
Trying to “achieve His Love” by our own strength or our own “clever methods” is comparable to the Israelites attempting to “store up manna” for the next day. It did not work! They had to gather the Manna every day, for that day alone! The Creator God has to be the source of The Love of God, on a continuing basis: You can’t “store it up and use it sparingly,” hoping to “have enough for later.”
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
The Love that God requires from His people has only one possible source: It emanates from an ongoing love-relationship with God, through Jesus Christ. The source is invisible, but the results are not!
12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
God’s love does not need “perfecting,” as we use that word. The word translated as “perfect” in scripture usually has to do with “completion:” God’s Love finds completion as it is exemplified in His people by means of the Holy Spirit actively working through them. We become His hands and His feet. Speaking as His ambassadors, we serve as His mouthpiece. We Love the People in His Name, and by His Spirit.
Our Confidence in Him
13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.
Each of us, as believers, can look back and remember the times when God has stepped in, and by His Holy Spirit, conformed us to His image, in one area or another. We are aware (to one degree or another) of His abiding presence, and we are grateful that He will never leave us.
God also calls us to see that presence as permanent evidence that we have already been placed into the Body of Christ. The Holy Spirit has permanently indwelt us. All of this happened at the moment you were born again. But He also gives us the ongoing witness of the Holy Spirit, encouraging us, and comforting us. He is always there, and He reminds us that we are not alone. (See 1st Corinthians 12:13; Ephesians 1:12-14.)
The Biggest Change
But the change in our lives that is most astonishing is that we can actually care for someone else, without being concerned with our own selfish interests. A young woman once shared with us how she had gone to a “women’s retreat” of some sort. After the retreat began, the leaders assigned the women times wherein they would help serve food or wash dishes, etc..
She told us, “ And, I thought, ‘But I didn’t come here to serve! I came here to be served!’ ” Immediately, the Holy Spirit used His Word to convict her heart: She instantly remembered what Jesus said, in Mark 10:45, “The Son of man came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many!”
The result? God changed her heart, on the spot! She served cheerfully, knowing that in so doing, she was obeying Him and blessing others!
As believers, and as followers of Jesus, we desire to see the Lord change our hearts in similar fashion!
Lord Jesus, please steer us way from the trap of being conformed to the values of the World. Inspire our hearts with Your Holiness and Your Love, and transform us by the renewing of our minds! Fill us with Your Living water, and let it flow through us to the World beyond.